Share Your Story!

22 Comments

• jess

  on Mar 02, 2010
  at 1:12 am

  I have worked for this company for 6 years, the problem is the manager of my department, she has tried to get me fired or have me quit, and let me tell you im not going to quit. She has accused me of stealing from the company she has spread rummors about me and later denies them, she talks behind your back then gives you a friendly face to cover it all up. I have gone to HR and i even broke down in tears and cried my eyes out because i felt so alone and tired of being picked on, i got hurt doing my job and i notified our EMT, HR, my manager even the project manager new about it, and i never was sent to the doctor and this happened a couple of years ago and last year the project manager said that he was going to talk to HR so they can send me to the doctor and im still waiting. I think i did my job by contacting the proper personel about my injury and feel its there responsability to take care of the problem. My manager has prohibit me and one of my co-workers to work together when we do all the work and still do more for her. Every year we have an employee opinion survey and this year she had a very low score and she still wonders why. She has sent people to search my belongings without me being present. Some people have quit because they just got tired of her but i dont plan to because this has to stop NOW!!!. There´s so much more she has done but i realy need to sit down and talk with some one that is going to help me not just give me bull. This is a serious problem, this lady from what i heard, has been sued and has lost, and i still dont understand why she is still there. Hope a new law comes out to protect us, god bless us and help us beat this evil in the work place.
• Bullied no More

  on Mar 18, 2010
  at 11:12 pm

  I left my job and career of 26 yrs because of bullying. I will never understand why I and other targets were seen as the difficult ones when our boss exhibited all sorts of abusive behaviour. She yelled, poked fingers in faces,insulted people, demeaned and demoralized staff in private and public meetings, she told people they weren’t worth the money they were paid, breached confidentiality etcetcetc. I spent ages depressed and anxious in a mental health serving agency and never was offered any type of assistance. When I was provided intervention through a board member’s EAP program, the bully was told and my job was threatened unless I revealed WHY the intervention was needed and WHAT I was saying. I refused and the bullying ramped up because the bully had no control over what I was telling to an outsider.

  After 3 years of targeting, I left feeling defeated as I did not want to leave a job I loved but my own health depended on not being bullied any more.

  I would love to see anti bullying legislation as it would provide employees an option when internal complaints don’t work.

  It’s time bullying was identified for what it is:

  Abuse in the workplace…

  we have come along way in recognizing abuse in homes, schools and communities ( I know more needs to be done) but the workplace seems to be one of the few places left where abusive people can show their wares and be rewarded for it.
• BW

  on Mar 27, 2010
  at 7:00 pm

  I am just learning about the severe bully “boss” that I have. I reported a “bully” co-worker for overhearing comments she was sharing with other co-workers about myself. Said, “she should be fired, and I just can’t stand her!” (meaning me.) and that DID it. (this person had been abusive for 3 years;not just to me. I just couldn’t take any more at this point) I reported this to my new boss, ( of 1 year) and he in turn reported to HR. He said I wasn’t allowed to know the results but that I could be “assured” it would never happen again. It back fired and from that point on “he” has been on my case saying I am not doing as I should and “hearing” that my co-workers have to finish what I have started. ???? Questioning him about what he had been hearing and how do I go about fixing the issue? He could never say. My annual review comes, (3 months later), and he’s STILL telling me how bad I am doing but not giving any examples. This goes much deeper then I can write about in this little comment box, but I am feeling threatened for my job. I went to his boss and I went to “EEOC” and now I’m in the process of a “formal complaint” to my works’ HR. I understand fully about the sick stomach, no sleep, intimadation, peranoid, stress and the anticipation of the unknown. I am still in the middle of this mess and have not been “let go” from my position but my guts are saying he’s working up to it. He put me on a improvement plan for 3 months with HR, (I was forced to accept the PIP), and I’m ready right now for the pushout. I have been reseaching the internet to see what my recourse is; (if any) or will I hear: “Too bad; so sad.!” Like I was told by eeoc and an attorney I spoke with, “don’t go down without a fight!” I haven’t been able to say the “EXACT” words they need to hear. Like: I’m too old; I am white: It’s sexual attack; or whatever. But you know…..I am human and I don’t deserve this treatment…..Just seems wrong. I need more then that.
• jess

  on Apr 10, 2010
  at 7:09 pm

  i was bullied by my boss…she was mean and treated me like i was no one… i stud up to her one day and she fired me… now im unemployed for over a year ..i cant find work and im struggling with my four kids… there should be a law against this ..my children and i think so…..
• anonymous

  on Apr 15, 2010
  at 1:42 am

  I cry everyday because I feel so trapped in my job. I live alone and support myself if I quit I will lose everything and a place to live so I need help. I work in a professional environment and my boss is an expert manipulator thoughts of quitting run through my head everyday. I am on anti-anxiety medication and my depression is getting worse all I wanna do is be in bed. What do I do? If I quit I will have no where to go. Is anyone out there in this situation? If you are and got out how did you do it. I can’t go back to school because I maxed out student loans. I can’t get a loan from the bank currently looking for another job but no luck.
• Beverly Peterson

  on Apr 18, 2010
  at 11:14 pm

  Most experts agree that it is important to find reputable consultants (Doctor, Lawyer, HR?, EEOC?) who can meet with you in person and help you determine the best way for you to move forward based on your unique situation. Listed under the resources tab on this site are articles, books, & studies related to this topic and links to other sites. Let me know how things move forward….
• julie

  on Apr 22, 2010
  at 12:56 pm

  i am a retired rn from the federal government. i had aboss that i will call hitlers niece-she was mean, ignorant and sociopathic. she came from a large family and a rural setting and as i look back on her now-she was mentally ill. the federal government has alot of mentallly ill employees-it is an instituition in which they can continuie their illness-my federal facility became ill when the natives from my state took over-small town people with family problems and most of all drinking problems-50 and 60 years at happy hour weekly and cliques like mean girls-junior high emotionally and the fact they are responsible for veterans care is frightening-i would like to hear from other va retired nurses on this subject through your column and have their responses forwarded to me-thank you.i am writing a book on my experience-anyone else like to share?????
• small town

  on May 04, 2010
  at 7:36 pm

  I am in a small town where everyone in my field knows each other. Everyone knows that my boss lacks leadership skills, and they volunteer this to me without me even asking, when I tell them where I work. “But he is such a nice guy” that he will never be challenged. It is just my boss and me as staff, and its a non profit organization that is supposed to be doing good for the community. However my boss does not like to work and lacks leadership, vision , or concern about what the mission of our organization might actually stand for. In the morning when i walk up to the building i can see him playing Solitaire on his computer through the window. He takes off very early most days ( like at 2 or 3) , or takes extended lunches. Meanwhile I work through lunch and fill my 8 hours if not 9 every day. I have ideas that our board likes, and he agrees verbally but never supports my working on them, and will micromanage me if he sees me working on something “else” ie other projects. I never miss deadlines or fail to get all my work done. I have a major project right now I instigated– to simply work on and “prove myself.” even the mayor of our town has taken interest in this. But if i had listened to my boss, i would have kept my idea to myself, and no one would know about it, and he could go on playing solitare and arguing with his wife. The board also likes this project so now he is acting like he is a part of it even though I have done all research and planning so far.

  He argues with his wife on the phone in front of me sometimes off and on all day, and has me do demeaning things like address an envelope for him and mail it even though he has nothing else to do . Then he will leave 2 hours early because his kid has a music lesson or something. He will also do stuff like introduce me to important people as his “assistant” and while it is true i am staff with a lower position ( and this is fine with me) , that title discredits the work i am doing and in the end it just makes the organization look bad because the assistant is working on something the boss should be!

  Anonymous on April 15th i feel your pain. I hate going to work and after reading up on it today ( i called in sick) i can tell i have been depressed due to this treatment. I have been blaming myself for not being able to “handle” a professional job and just put up with the way he treats me, and all the politics in my town that enable the situation.

  Others tell me to confront him, and so last week i told him all his personal calls in the office make my work environment stressful. He replied that it was stressful for HIM as well. I really don’t think he will ever change and I want to quit but it could be career suicide if i do. I have only been there for one year and I fear other orgs field will think I am flighty. I hate going to work so much, and it is damaging my home life as well because I am exhausted and want to watch tv and hide in my room all the time. Now I know this is depression. Everyone in my town knows he is not a leader and that my organization is stagnant. I thought I could come in and help make a positive change with good ideas and so on, but his personality is tearing me down very much. The ultimate irony is I do not feel dedicated to the actual work i do any more so my performance is slipping . And honestly I love my job if it werent for my boss. I dont know what to do because i feel it is an ethical situation where our org is supported by donors, foundations, and city $ ( taxpayer $ ) and his abuse of his position seems really wrong. what do i do?
• never say never

  on Jun 01, 2010
  at 7:25 pm

  This is a great post, I stumbled across your post while looking for lyrics. Thanks for sharing, I’ll be sure to return regularly.
• Dianne Wilkinson

  on Jun 07, 2010
  at 7:14 pm

  I am reading the personal stories on this website and I am filled with an awful sense of doom – how are we ever going to stop this nightmare that grows and infects with every hour that passes. Our call for criminalisation of workplace abuse/psychological violence falls on obstinately deaf ears (in Australia) letters, pleas, submissions to politicians, at every level, continue to be conpletely ignored. Globally, it is surely a crime against humanity so why is it not regarded with such gravity. I am at my wits end. Why don’t they car??
• Dianne Wilkinson

  on Jun 07, 2010
  at 7:15 pm

  Why don’t they carE !!
• Katey

  on Jul 05, 2010
  at 1:51 pm

  #1 How is anything ever going to be done when no company, organization or names can be mentioned, due to a lawsuit. In time it could be found out who the worst culprits are and weed them out. We all need to band together and step up to the plate and fight this bulling. It is almost like alcoholism, cunning, baffling and powerful to the point where it destroys lives. Financially I am ruined and mentally I am torn due to many jobs where bulling and verbal sexual assault were the norm. Lets just say I am a health care worker, where bullying has been the norm for many years. This should not be taken lightly as those bullys also abuse thier patients, but they know how to manipulate and suck hole to the boss. The boss is a part of the process many of the times.
• Beverly Peterson

  on Jul 05, 2010
  at 2:06 pm

  I totally agree that we need to band together. I joined two other colleagues to create a new Internet Portal to bring together researchers, advocates, victims & the family and friends who support them, practitioners, etc etc to try and form a global dialogue that offers FREE resources & information to educate those who can help make this change. Check it out and join and feel free to share your experience and voice: the International Educational Coalition on Workplace Bullying
• Katey

  on Jul 05, 2010
  at 2:22 pm

  Year ago no one knew of such a thing as bullying in the workplace so one just shutup and putup with the crap. The circumstances have not changed a lot. I was called into the bosses quarters and told that some of the residents and co- workers had allegations that I was leaving residents in a state of neglect. I went straight to the shop steward at my workplace, as without a doubt I knew I had done no such thing. As soon as it was found out that I had done this my boss terminated me that very day only one hour later. I went to the union office in the town where I live and put in a grievence.Each time a meeting was called I had no representative to be there. They all worked in the same department as I did and for fear of losing thier jobs would not represent me. One of them even told me to zip it at all times and say nothing or I would loose my job. This was prior to my forced resignation. Following several meetings with the boss and her accomplices of whom did not even work in the same department, It was basically admitted by the boss that allegations did not exist. I looked her in the face addressed her by her name and asked her straight out WAS THERE EVER ANY ALLEGATIONS???? Her exact words in an exasperated tone were. Hmmmh! I went about this all in the wrong way. Co- workers later came to me and offered me reference for other work. As it turns out this Health Authority where I live covers a huge area and with no money due to lack of a fair living wage at other part time demeaning jobs, I am unable to just pick up my life and move. I have a close relationship with my children and grandchildren and do not feel that following years of prayer to have them all close to me, most of them have migrated to the area where I live.Why should I have to move. I came to this area for my work and I did nothing wrong! That was established. The agreements that myself,my union rep and myself came to were never adhered to from thier side and in fact they have done something to keep me from getting with in the health area. I have been the full circle more than once with the so called powers that be. If the half of what goes on with in these organizations were ever known, many of the chain of command would be out of work. I am financially ruined and mentally distraught. I should be compensated for the unnecessary indignation, financial ruin, emotional trauma etc. THERE OUTA BE A LAW!!!!!! and AN ORGANIZATION TO ENABLE the ordinary Joe to fight such BULLYING. Those involved in the bullying need to made to suffer the same hardships and down right misery they have put upon others with thier LIES, MANIPULATION, RECRUITING OF THE SHEEP ETC…..
• Carol Schaeffer

  on Jul 13, 2010
  at 7:51 pm

  I was fired after 34 years as a nure in a hospital. I was bullied by my manager for about a year. She made false accusations about me,ctitized my every move,twisted my words around,criticized me in front of my co-workers. What I know about “floor” nursing she hasnt had time to learn. Now I have no job, no insurance,cant get a job because the hospital put a complaint againt my nursing lisence that will take 6 to 8 months to take off. My dream of retiring and buying a toyota truck to ride my dogs around in are out the window. If I want a truck now I’ll have to build one!! When I’m in a stronger place[I hope Im not dead then} I will go to the media and give my name.For now Im a citizen Lobbyist for the HEALTHY WORKPLACE BILL in Arizona. I wrote my State Representitive and U.S Senator. I’m now asking people for their help to support this bill. I think we should have a protest march at the state capitals around the U.S.
• Lisa Gordon

  on Sep 19, 2010
  at 7:48 pm

  Four years ago, I was “all but dissertation” in clinical psychology, on my way to a PhD and a career in research. Then I was hired as a research assistant by a professor who, unbeknownst to me at the time, was a serial workplace bully. After having my first dissertation topic fall through due to an inability to find enough of the right subjects, I thought I was lucky to have my employer offer her set of data for me to use to complete a dissertation and my PhD degree.

  I was not a target at the time; someone else was, and warned me about her. I didn’t believe them. After all, at the time, she treated me well.

  Then the target was fired. And shortly thereafter, my boss began a campaign of harassment that included every type of humiliation and subterfuge you can imagine. In addition, I was also pressured to twist the truth in a scientific paper (which I refused to do).

  I was stunned. I had never seen anything like this before. When my boss finally resorted to overt sabotage (as all my work passed through her hands, it was easy for her to remove essential documents and blame it on me), and I began to suffer Stress Disorder symptoms, I knew it was time to leave. Her reporting me to Human Resources on overtly trumped up and false charges was the final straw. When they took my report of what she’d done to me, but did nothing about it, I knew she was too important and well protected, and that no one would listen or really believe me. And I was right.

  So I left-leaving my dissertation data and ultimately my PhD degree and career behind.

  In the end, I was unable to find another job in my city in research, as the university I’d worked at was the only one that regularly hired research assistants in my area, and as soon as other professors there talked to her about me, I couldn’t get a second interview–and I owned a home and was (and am) married, and I couldn’t leave. So my career as a psychologist was dead–no access to research data, and blacklisted at the one university where I was able to work in my region.

  Two jobs later (one as a copy editor, one as a secretary)–and, believe it or not, two more encounters with other bullies, who quickly targeted me and forced me out–I have lost my home to foreclosure, my husband and I have been forced to declare bankruptcy, and I’ve developed an autoimmune disorder.

  I have learned that being targeted more than once is not uncommon. We targets seem to carry subtle “signs” that shout “Bully her!” or “Bully him!”

  Indeed, there ought to be a law. I and my husband have lost everything. Our home is gone, my career is gone, we are bankrupt, and we live in my mother’s house (Thank God for her willingness to allow us that!). I have always been complimented on my ethics, my hardworking attitude, my competence, my pleasant personality, my agreeableness, and my likability. Now I find that all those things attract serial workplace bullies.

  My only recourse now is to try to reinvent myself–at the age of 54, mind you–by using my skills in low-paying jobs to give us some type of steady income, while trying to start my own business, so that I’ll never be bullied again.

  Three times is enough. There’s nothing left to take away from us, at least. It’s all gone.

  But I’ll never stop mourning over my lost career. I loved research, and I loved being a psychologist-in-training. All my hopes, all the years of work on the degree, are all gone.

  Oh, by the way–the bullying professor was promoted shortly after I was forced out.
• ER Nurse

  on Oct 31, 2010
  at 3:46 am

  I have chills down my spine reading everything on this site. This is way too close to home for me. I was bullied almost to the point of suicide like Jodie’s story. Gosh, not only was I bullied but I was discrimated against and had co-workers gossiping about me and spreading rumors around the department. I tried to defend myself, but nobody believed me. In the end, they let me go!! I couldn’t believe the whole experience. People can be so mean, especially fellow nurses. Now I feel like I have PTSD and have tremendous fear of ever working again….
  So relieved to see this website!!
• Beverly Peterson

  on Nov 01, 2010
  at 8:14 am

  @ER Nurse – I’m so glad the site has helped bring you comfort. Anyone going through this type of experience needs to reach out for individual counseling in gathering inner strength, reclaiming your health and moving on. Warm thoughts and wishes to you.
• caroli

  on Dec 29, 2010
  at 12:09 pm

  I was bullied and secually harassed for 9 months. I finally quit. I feel very sorry for all the people being bullied. Please look for help! Or another job. No job is worth your mental health.
• Concerned Mom

  on Jan 19, 2011
  at 1:12 pm

  My daughter has been going through hell the past 13 months. She works with a clique of women who are doing everything they can to make her life as miserable as possible. She has been written up and is on the verge of being written up again. Unfortunately upper management has done nothing but make matters worse. The women accuse her of ignoring or not being sociable with the other ladies in the department. Yet they are the ones that whisper and gossip, ignore her, make false accusations that they then take to upper management without discussing with the department supervisor. She has been written up and told that if things do not change she will lose her position. She thought everything had blown over when she was called to the management office again and told that apparently her behavior had not changed and that the women were complaining again. When she said they were lying the response she got was “They said you would say that or that they have a conspiracy against you.” At this point she knew it was hopeless and left the room in tears. As her mother I am galled that this type of cruelty is allowed to go on. The ringleader of this clique is someone who has a very questionable personal life and yet is allowed to be the character barometer for my daughter. I get the sense from what she tells me that one or two ladies know its wrong but are perhaps afraid to speak up in fear of losing their jobs. This is a small town where people look out for themselves and eachother. We are outsiders. My daughter is now dealing with anxiety, depression, stomach issues etc. She has had to take off because it is so upsetting that she has severe stomach pains or wakes up with her eyes swollen from all the crying. She does not want to give them the satisfaction of quitting or seeing how upsetting it actually is for her. I agree with her and yet I feel that no job is worth all this suffering. That being said the thought of a group of women making life so miserable that their sole purpose is to break my daughter,force her to lose her means of supporting herself, lose her health benefits, galls me. Amazingly this is happening in a health care setting. Something needs to be done so that victims of this abuse can have a voice that will be heard. Noone deserves 8 hours of misery every day. Shame on the bullies. There should be a consequence for making an accusation without merit or they should be vigilantly observed as well. But to anyone who allows a coworker to go through this and not speak up is more shameful. I hope my daughter gets through this and for all of you in similar situations I wish you courage and strength as well!
• Wanderer

  on Jan 22, 2011
  at 12:41 am

  I am not going back to work on Monday, because I can no longer deal with being bullied and abused at work.

  I have been employed with this company for a year and two months, and all that time I have been harassed, verbally and emotionally assaulted, and threatened with my job by my boss. The boss is actually married to the man who owns the company, which apparently gives this person the right to treat me like I’m less than old gum under a desk.

  The Boss has rarely if ever had a kind word to say about my performance. I should have realized the trouble I was going to be in when I started on my first day working in shipping, taping up boxes for orders, and The Boss stood over my shoulder the whole time, complaining that I wasn’t taping the boxes up right. Then The Boss moved on to how I didn’t pick orders in a correct manner. When I was brought to a different section of the company to work with customers, the complaints ranged from talking too much with the customers, to typing to slowly when typing orders, to picking too many of one item to be shipped (even though all orders are checked before they are shipped out, to not leaving enough extra on the end of a fabric order (which recently became too much), to asking too many questions (and then being told that I was assuming that I knew everything). The list goes on and on.

  I cried a lot. I knew I was a good person, and I knew I could be good at my job if I could only get The Boss to trust me just a little… but no. Never. No matter what I did or how well I did it, there was no “getting it right”. My job was held over my head almost every day for another reason, usually small trivial things, and if The Boss wasn’t threatening to fire me because I got something wrong, The Boss was threatening to fire me because I couldn’t be trusted to do anything. Oh, and the constant belittling in front of customers was the icing on the cake.

  I started off with a pretty hefty job description, but then it was limited to just a handful of duties. Then The Boss complained that I wasn’t doing enough around the store and I had to “start doing your job as you were hired for it” or face being let go. Then, I made a mistake and my job was limited again, with the same reminder that “the last person who did this got fired.”

  Today was the last straw. An innocent comment from a customer got me hauled in the office and threatened with termination again. The Boss even said “I’ve heard from various customers that you don’t like me, and if you don’t then you’re stupid to stay here.”

  She then named the customers both of whom had actually gone to The Boss to complain of the treatment of myself as an employee based on what they’d seen. The Boss took that to mean that I had complained to them about how The Boss treated me, and wanted to use that and the conversation from earlier as a reason to fire me.

  I took a deep breath, worked the rest of the day, and will NOT be returning on Monday morning. The Boss is bad for my mental health, and when I send in my resignation notice (effective immediately due to health issues), it will include the line:

  “I don’t need to talk about you to anyone. Your track record speaks for itself.”
• Medical Assistant

  on Mar 09, 2011
  at 10:46 pm

  Lisa – sorry you went through that and everyone else on this website too. I was just forced out of a job I had held for 7 months. I am very pleasant and easy to get along with, extremely competent, hardworking etc. I never realized why I was bullied all the time but as you said bullies do not like these traits because we are everything they are not. They are threatened and generally they suffer from the narcissistic personality disorder. I encourage you and others to read up on this disorder if you haven’t already come across it. Also, if anyone is a Christian on this site, Jezebel spirit is another one to research. Do not blame yourselves, I have the habit of doing this, even though I know it is not me. There is nothing much we can do unfortunately because these people are master manipulators and they pull Person A, B, C etc. in and form a triangle of people and they are so good at convincing people. I do not have a mean bone in me and this doctor I worked for managed to convince everyone I was no good. She was nasty to me and treated everyone around her nicely. I cannot think of a single thing I did to her except be nice, even gave her candy with the files sometimes. Absolutely nothing worked. I finally talked to management about an issue which was truly over the top and management spoke to her and evidently she told her that I treated the patients bad and made all these mistakes. I am sick over this because I was an absolute gem on this job and treated everyone with respect, helped people etc. I do not want to sound like I am boasting or anything, I could only do this with Christ’s strength, otherwise I would be nothing. Any way,she convinced management and they let me go. I am now unemployed.

  So hang in there everybody. We are better off out of these situations because it will only make a person miserable and sick. I believe we will be rewarded some day for our good works.